| You give me three cigarettes to smoke my tears away.. |
[5.30.08 (Friday) 10:48pm] |
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mood |
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could be better.... |
] |
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music |
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[Cheers Darlin' by Damien Rice] |
] |
...I wasn't oblivious to the fact that
fairytales aren't real.
..I guess I just wanted to hope that
maybe..once in a while, they could be.
-fuck love
...Im throwing in the towel,
I honestly give up.
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[8.28.07 (Tuesday) 7:05pm] |
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mood |
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 giggly |
] |
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music |
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[Crazytown - Lollipop Porn] |
] |
well, lets see, my computer crashed in the beginning of july... and i just got a new comp about week ago...
i got my roster for fall semester. i really like my job...i dont want to go from workin 5 days a week to 2 days a week...
that sucks....
I think its about time to put Blade down :( (my rat)
shes 2 years and 8months old....shes an old lady....but she has a benign tumor that keeps getting bigger...and i think its just best for her because i dont want to see her suffer and i cant keep her here just for me....thats too selfish...
i turn 19 in less than a month now! i feel old >_< time flies....
...in another note......i need more clothes o.O
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| fuck yea. |
[5.18.07 (Friday) 10:29pm] |
Def Poetry:
Barbie and Ken 101:
by: Rafael Casal:
Sometimes I feel like I'm sitting in the back of Barbie and Ken 101.
A class we're all in but never seem to learn from.
Some general ed. requirement for students of american culture.
One that convinces even the brightest of young women that sex is survival of the thinnest.
And I'm sick of this education that doesnt serve our best interest.
My teacher has no face, she is every revlon model women have ever chased, her lectures can be seen in the backs of magazines, beauty ads, and marketing campaigns.
Shit, just turn on your t.v. - "this just in, a skewed perspective for today's youth."
"Y'all ladies ain't thin enough? Fellas ain't trim enough? Wanna be sexy? Y'all don't go to the gym enough."
-Cut to commerical-
Come on, just tune into their maintanence team, tell you you're ugly then tell you how to fix it with Maybelline.
Please, they're just molding Barbie to fit the new trend.
Next, they're gonna have 'Club Hoppin' Barbie' with thongs as accessories.
'Video Ho Barbie', abusive boyfriend sold separately.
'Underage Barbie', Kobe Bryant included.
Or '9/11 Victim Barbie' and Ken is proud to get recruited.
Problem is all these teachings are women's decay.
And my girlfriend is sitting up front and she's getting an A.
This is where I start getting really pissed off, okay?
When the fuck did it become about
"tuckin' in the gut." " I gotta get bigger breasts."
"Shit, I wanna fit a little better in a dress."
"So let me get a little skinny, gotta fit into an itty-bitty size slim just to liven up the chest?"
Please, teacher, teacher, I wanna give my oral presentation because I have a problem with the class, and matter of fact I have a damn problem with the whole administration.
You're the reason my girl won't sit across from me in restaraunts, the reason she thinks she's overfat in 10 spots.
Less gut, less pudge, less looks, less real.
More looks, more love, more Barbie appeal.
Oh shit, Fuck Barbie and Ken, Fuck Barbie and Ken.
They're the reason 15 year old girls' arms are slit.
The reason 12 year olds think 'skinny' is a compliment.
And it's too late, it's too late, I can't write my way through these bathroom doors.
So I'll raise my hand in class 'cause i can't take it anymore.
Teacher, teacher, your lectures are all backwards.
You got mothers and daughters forgetting what matters, because above hips, ass, lips, legs, and uggs.
The most real ass shit is women who don't give a fuck.
So screw all your teachings, your lessons and plans.
You skewed, sick, distant, relative of a man.
Your plan for brainwashing my baby, I reject.
I'm walking out of your class and I will proudly take my F.
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| WAR::....what is it good for? ..absolutely nothing...... |
[5.08.07 (Tuesday) 11:45pm] |
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mood |
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 sad |
] |
And you ask me what I want this year
And I try to make this kind and clear
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
'Cause I don't need boxes wrapped in strings
And desire and love and empty things
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
So take these words
And sing out loud
'Cause everyone is forgiven now
'Cause tonight's the night the world begins again
And it's someplace simple where we could live
And something only you can give
And thats faith and trust and peace while we're alive
And the one poor child that saved this world
And there's 10 million more who probably could
If we all just stopped and said a prayer for them
So take these words
And sing out loud
'Cause everyone is forgiven now
'Cause tonight's the night the world begins again
I wish everyone was loved tonight
And somehow stop this endless fight
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
So take these words
And sing out loud
'Cause everyone is forgiven now
'Cause tonight's the night the world begins again
'Cause tonight's the night the world begins again
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[5.08.07 (Tuesday) 5:32pm] |
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mood |
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 melancholy |
] |
. i honestly can't live without him.
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| A poem for my PopPop . |
[4.29.07 (Sunday) 8:11pm] |
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mood |
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sad |
] |
TO PopPop
I love you with all my heart
and I know you love me too.
I know that you can see us now
and know how much we miss you.
I know that you are with us now
forever in our hearts.
Even though you had to go
it’s still sad to see you part.
And we know that you are in heaven
kickin’ back and having fun.
With a Molson’s beer in hand
And a cigar in the other one.
This goodbye is only temporary
for we’ll be back with you one day.
Even though the words won’t come out
we feel we have so much left to say.
We know you wouldn’t want us to be sad
but instead to kid and joke around. To remember how you used to be
You knew how to keep us up even when we were down. You, Sir, who we love very much
you taught us how to love.
And we know how much you’re proud of us
while looking down from up above.
I miss him..so much, i wrote this poem the night he died 2/27/07
i havent shared it on here until now...
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[4.25.07 (Wednesday) 12:18pm] |
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:Friends Only:
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| hell yes! |
[4.04.07 (Wednesday) 7:05am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 curious |
] |
well i removed most of my journal entries.....its not like any one reads this anyway....i want to start over, with a clean slate. i want to 'improve' myself
and this time.i really mean it. i want to change for the better.
i hate being this shy girl with no friends...i just want to live life to the fullest. i want to have no regrets whatsoever...it might be hard to get out of this'routine' of doing things...but i'll make it...im tough :)
but yea, if anyone that reads this wants to know me more then id be more then happy to be your friend...but if not...then its your loss.
.ttyl.
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| ..I dare you to move like today never happened.. |
[9.17.06 (Sunday) 11:42pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 numb |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Breaking Benjamin--The Diary of Jane |
] |
'between who you are and who you could be. between how it is and how it should be'..
...I feel like...the world may end at any moment....
.I feel like everyone is putting pressure on me...
i need space...i need to go away somewhere...to be alone for a while...
everything in this world is going so completely wrong.....
.....just fucking scream my lungs out 'till i cant breathe.....
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